This period of lockdown has presented a serious challenge for families and schools. Teachers and other education staff are working hard to support families through this crisis, but if you are a separated parent and don’t know whether your child is managing to keep up with schoolwork because your ex or the school are being obstructive, now is the time to rectify matters. Here are some suggestions that may help you face these unprecedented times.
As part of their home-schooling commitment during the currents stage of the pandemic, many schools are offering on-line Parent Meetings. Schools and teachers are easier to contact now than ever before. Some schools have published their home-school policies on their websites.
These are not normal times and what may have been a less than enthusiastic teaching staff, pressed with overwork, to engage more than the one parent, there is a new opening of minds to the opportunities offered by new technology.
Many parents are finding it difficult to manage home school learning. They simply don’t have the relationship with their child/ren to build the structure, routine and application that teachers manage. Mums traditionally have provided emotional support, comfort, a feeling of connectedness and being cared for. For many, but by no means all, families, this has changed. Although schools do provide this at some levels it is the social environment traditionally offered by dads that supports schooling. Specifically, challenging situations, rule bound play, clear boundaries and consequences, competition, independence, and opportunities for self-fulfilment.
These two approaches, of course, work to complement each other and some single parents struggle hard to offer both. But when families are separated your child will miss out on one or the other unless both parents cooperated to ensure they don’t.
In many families, mums effectively provide communion while dads provide agency and children need both.
Many of the qualities dads bring to a child’s relationship are what schools rely upon for the structure and routine that makes their relationship with your child effective. This is part of the reason women tend to occupy the majority (if not all) positions in primary schools yet there are many more men in secondary schools and further education.
It will not be a surprise that in many families dads are more capable and able to assist with homeschooling, even if its over Zoom, than mums. We fully accept that sometimes it is the other way around or parents share all aspects of parenting equally. Either way, children will benefit from experiencing the contirbutions of both parents.
"Dads... if you are not involved with homeschooling, or your child’s school, make the effort now more than ever."
"Mums... if your ex is not involved and you have resisted it, now is the time for a well-earned rest."
If you are finding it difficult to manage home school learning, please call our helpline 0300 0300 363 which is supported by our volunteers 6pm to 10pm Monday to Friday, email us at admin@fnf.org.uk or join any of our online support meetings.
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